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About Me
Jen Heller sitting on her couch with her laptop

Sometime in the 1990s...

Jen Heller was a top reporter for Network 23 when a tragic motorcycle accident left her clinging to life. Fearing the network may lose its most popular show, a quick-thinking employee used a computer program to create a digital copy of Jen’s brain complete with all her memories, thoughts, and opinions up to the time of the accident. Sadly, Jen passed away, but fortunately for the network, the digital copy could do everything Jen did (and it didn’t expect a salary).

 

What the network didn’t anticipate was that the digital Jen would soon develop a mind of her own and refuse to obey their commands. She began interrupting their programming with angry diatribes condemning the government, the media, the healthcare industry, and other giant corporations. Ratings were higher than ever, but the network feared a backlash from their corporate overlords.

Despite numerous attempts to re-program her, Jen continued to act out, constantly popping up to criticize commercials, talk shows, reality shows, and music videos (or the distinct lack thereof) with her biting rhetoric. So the network secured her program in a Compaq computer, which they stored in a warehouse in New Jersey.

 

At some point—no one’s really sure when—the Compaq began to type on its own, writing disturbing horror and sci-fi stories under Jen’s name. Unsettled warehouse workers locked it away in a closet, but not before printing some of the stories to share with their friends.

 

Eventually, those stories made their way onto the Internet, and now four of them are available to buy at major retailers.

*This bio may or may not be entirely false.

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